I was on a boat!

So, normally my tour transportation consists of a very large bus, but I just recently completed my first tour CRUISE!  Ok, not so much a tour cruise, but a music boat.  Really if you think about it, it is a genius idea.  If any of you have been on a regular cruise you can admit the entertainment is…well they try.  But, it kind comes off as a mixture of high school and college performance (and I am not talking Julliard).  So the idea of going on a cruise where the acts are all professional, all bands you have (well pretty much)  heard of, and you get to see them all for one set price is pretty inspired. 

So cruises…what have I got to say about them?  Well I think the one thing that totally stands out to me is the service.  I think very few Americans could actually staff a cruise, they are just too nice and too eager to please.  I am sorry Americans, but you would get sick of that after the first day.  There is no WAY your average American server could stay that chipper and that friendly for that long, especially when you think about the average cruise go-er.

The worst part of a cruise?  Well that is a tie in my opinion- first everything is included on a cruise EXCEPT alcohol.  You can see the dilemma.  Second, and I might offend some with this, is the food.  I am just NOT that impressed.  And, I know they are feeding thousands with supplies they must keep fresh on a BOAT in the middle of the OCEAN, but to me it is glorified cafeteria food.  There I said it.  Even the all day and all night ice cream everyone raves on is Ice Milk, it is not real ice cream (or even frozen yogurt).  I mean I guess it is good in a pinch, and I think it may have fewer calories, but it is not creamy by any stretch of imagination.

 

Personally, I would prefer to go to one place, rent a vacation house and stay for like a week.  You may get to go to beautiful places on a cruise- but you are limited with time and with resources to get around.  I like to really explore a destination, and I’ll be honest I like to explore at a leisurely pace (ie. I want the option to sleep in till noon- I am on vacation).  On a cruise, if you wake up at noon you normally have maybe 4-5 hours left to explore your destination.  At most, you might get 10 hours if it is a late ship out...but that is normally only one port. 

Now reading this you may think I am only complaining and that I had a horrible time, but this is not true.  Like I said, the service, the crew…they were AMAZING.  And if only to keep them all employed I would urge everyone to go on at least one cruise.  I loved getting to hang with my friends, and destroy them in a photo scavenger hunt (photos and list to come soon).  I loved the family style dinner every night and knowing that I would get to enjoy dinner with our friends and share our adventures from the day.  Basically, I was very grateful for the opportunity to get to go on a cruise, and if asked I would not hesitate to go with my husband on the next music boat.

Itty. Bitty. Bathrooms.

Itty bitty bathrooms.  There is no way around it on a tour bus, at least on our tour bus, and they can be quite problematic for a number of reasons.  Here are a few of my fave-

-It is an itty bitty bathroom, with thin, itty bitty walls…normally there are at least 2-11 people outside of said walls.  Are you getting the visual?  All of us can have a bit of performance shyness, and well there is nothing like knowing 11 other people can hear you going to the bathroom to help make even the most bold of us pause before tinkling.

-Sometimes we have a fast load out, which means you have to change on the bus.  Being one of the only girls means you need a private spot to change, and that normally is the itty bitty bathroom.  I have yet to manage doing it without hitting at least my head, arm and normally my leg on something in there.

-Itty bitty bathrooms don’t have the best flushing systems, so the smell is not always so great.  It is key to make sure you stay up on cleaning out/flushing out the water tanks.

I could keep going, but I am pretty sure that is more than enough visual images of an itty bathroom for one day.

Here is the question...

How much cereal is too much cereal?  

(Please note I found two more boxes after this shot)

Another List

The nicest things you can do if a tour comes to your house/venue/church/theatre (in no particular order)-

1-      Have REAL SALAD, iceberg lettuce is not included in this definition, or anything healthy really.  Yes, everyone loves chicken in cream sauce, mashed potatoes, and anything with bacon; BUT we also love our waist lines.  If you give us some healthy options to go with your creamy chicken cheese surprise I promise you will be the tour’s favorite stop.

2-      If ordering catering or supplying meals please make sure you order enough so that everyone on the tour has some.  This is one instance when less is so not more.  If you have leftovers we will take them, but there is nothing worse than coming in for dinner and realizing there is none because there was not enough food.

3-      Offer them an essentials gift basket- toilet paper, paper towels, plastic cutlery, and paper plates.  We need these things, DESPERATELY, and we will love you for helping us out.  I am not asking for a Costco supply, I am asking for one roll of each and maybe a set of 10 of the plastic cutlery.  Worst case, we don’t need them and you get to keep the extras for your location.  Who doesn’t need paper plates?

4-      If you have showers on location, please also have towels.  We do not think to pack these, and to be truthful we do not have room for them in our suitcases.  If you have a shower that’s awesome, but it does nothing for us if you have no way for us to dry ourselves off.  You do not want the whole tour streaking around your location trying to air dry- that’s at least 26 naked bodies, and the only ones that would look cute are the toddlers.

5-      If you don’t have showers at your location please try and get more than one runner.  I know it is not a fun job to wait around and drive people where ever they want to go, its like have 20 pre-teens, but we NEED you.  Like really, really need you.

6-      Please don’t steal our stuff.  (That is pretty self explanatory)

7-      If you have Wifi at your location let us know, and if there are passwords protecting it- please share.  Our bus does have Wifi, but it’s slow and there are 12 of us using it which does not help either, so share the love.

8-      Liquid Coffeemate.  No powder please.  And if you really like us it will have flavor too.

9-      Don’t charge a merchandise fee.  This how we make our money, seriously, that is how we survive.  You taking 25% off of what we make can really hurt us.

10-   Try to be patient with us.  I know, at least in our instance, 26 people have just descended upon you and we can be pretty rambunctious.  We truly are very grateful to you and your hospitality.